So, today was Day three for me of my diet.  Things went much better for me as far as the physical symptoms go.  I had a great day, honestly.  My classes were all well behaved, didn’t have to write in one single behavior book (yay!) and I didn’t get hungry hungry hungry.  I started out my day knowing that I needed to finish up cataloging some books and getting them put into the system for kids to check out.  I went ahead and started on that, so I got about 40 new books put in the system.  I found out that I had to go to Reading block at a different time than usual, so I ended up going at 9:30 just like I had, but I left at 10:00, which gave me a lot more time to come back and do stuff in the library before I had my 1st grade class to come in.  I was really disappointed in their group.  They listened to the video we were watching, but when I asked them recall questions about the video (we are studying non-fiction literature and watched a Reading Rainbow video about ocean animals, specificially whales) they looked at me like I was a complete moron.  Not one single child knew the name of the whale from the book.  I have to say that is my FIRST CLASS in three days that has not known the answer to that question–it was like–what the hell have y’all been doing the whole time??????  They weren’t even talking or cutting up!!! LOL  Then I had my lunch break, and I continued to work through lunch getting books ready for teachers that needed additional reading books.  So then my 2nd graders came in, and I didn’t have enough time to ask them any questions about the story, unfortunately.  It’s a 28 minute video and we only have 30 minutes, so I end up running out of time.  But I’ll make sure to ask recall questions next time they come in, which will be Monday.  After 2nd grade, my 4th, 3rd, and 5th graders came in.  They were really great.  We continued doing the OPAC lesson and they are all so good at participating and learning, it really makes me happy.  Tomorrow 3rd and 5th are done with the lesson so they’ll start checking out books.  I am really tired of them getting wild like they do when we check out books, so I’ve decided that I’m going to start something new.  I’m going to pick two students from the class (only 3-5) who can check out books FOR me.  I’m going to train them how to do it.  I made printouts of the barcodes for each student and organized them by class.  So when the class comes in, I’ll turn to that page and the kid will be able to find the person’s name checking out books, then scan the books and stamp them.  I’ll have two up there so that they can work on doing that together.  Ryan will be helping them with any problems they may have.  I want to take that time to read to them.  I never get time to read aloud to my older kids, and since I have to start on Information Resources soon during their lesson periods, I need time to read aloud.  So while they check out books, I’m going to continue reading The Lightning Thief.  I read that book and the others in the series this summer, and I am hooked.  The sub I had last Thursday read it to my group and they loved it so much they were wanting to check it out when they came in the library, so my goal is to read it with them and then allow them to check it out for themselves.  So that’s that.  Then I had my little ones.  I even got time to work on my lesson plans so I could figure out what I’d be doing with them next week.  I’m excited about it being so concrete this year-I felt like I was never organized last year, and this year is already off to a much better start.  I have so much less problems with behavior because they’ve got stuff that they’re responsible for, and that makes me happy.

So anyway, I got home and tried to lay down but the phone kept ringing, so I ended up calling my mom.  We’re going to go wedding shopping this weekend-I’m SO SO excited.  We are going to this place called Gabrielle’s to look at dresses, and I have a feeling I might be able to find the dress while I’m there.  I intended on doing something with Amber this weekend because well, she is a great friend and is my MAID OF HONOR-LOL.  But since my mom is coming in town, I might have to once again postpone.  Eventually we’ll have to get together and hang out.  I know she may be reading this, but I just have to put it out there.  I hope she doesn’t feel awkward being my maid of honor since we haven’t hung out much lately, and I hope that if she didn’t want to do it anymore, she’d tell me. I don’t want to put her in an awkward position, but the truth is, I still consider her just as close of a friend. 

Well, I am about to go watch some of my recorded shows on Tivo.  I’m pumped that I have a TWO HOUR Heroes and a CSI Miami to watch! And tonight I have at least two more shows that are recording-I love fall TV!

So today is Day 2 of doing the Optifast program.  I am not having any problems resisting food, though I am having problems with some side effects.  I had to go to work today, which made it a little harder because my energy out was definitely more than what I put in.  I had my first shake around 8:45, and I took my multivitamin and started feeling very sick.  I think my body was just not ready to have the multivitamin, so I know that after a while my body will get used to it.  I went to reading block at 9:30 and helped the teacher in there, then came back and had another shake at 10:30.  I started teaching at 11:00 and was fine.  Got some work done that I needed to get done.  I continued that through lunch so that I wouldn’t have to sit there and watch everyone eat.  I had my 2nd grade class, then I had another shake at 1:00.  My classes were GREAT today, except for my 3rd grade class.  I am teaching 3-5 about using the Library Catalog, and all of my classes have been so receptive, quiet, and participating.  It really makes me happy and proud to see them learning this so quickly.  This 3rd grade class is definitely the exception.  Some of them didn’t even follow along with us.  They will have to do the work on their own before they can check out a book next week, and I have a feeling one of the kids will throw a tantrum.  His mom is a volunteer at our school and he seems to feel like he is entitled to things that he isn’t entitled to.  I wrote in quite a few of their behavior books.  And now that I think of it, those are the only books i had to write in ALL day.  Anyway, I started having the cramps in my muscles like they said I would, and was just feeling very tired.  I decided that instead of starting my new job at Sylvan like i had initially planned, I called and spoke with my new boss and talked to her about how I was feeling.  She couldn’t work with me any other day this week, so I agreed to go in a week from today to start my training.  That makes me so happy because I feel like I’ll be adjusted to this program by then and I can jump in my tutoring training and really understand what they are telling me.  So I came home from work, drank another shake, then I had to lay down.  I had the biggest headache.  I just wanted to close my eyes initially, but I ended up falling asleep for about 3-4 hours.  When I woke up I felt MUCH better and the headache was gone (knock on wood).  I heated up the soup that I’m allowed to have (tomato) and had a bar and some water.  I am feeling great about making it through the day again today!  I know that after about a week it gets much easier, so I’m 2 days down, 5 to go before that deadline.

You know how it is when you lose something important???  Well I lost a 3 subject notebook that I use to write my to-do lists in.  I haven’t been able to find it and I’m worried that I’m forgetting about something that is in there that I’m supposed to be doing-hahaha.  I will just have to assume that if there is something I need to do, it’ll make itself clear to me.  I am glad that I made time today during my classes to barcode and check out our brand new thesauruses and dictionaries for our 3-5 grade students.  Ryan and I passed those out.  So now that I have those four boxes out of my way, and I plan on doing a box of new books that I have tomorrow.  I need to shelve, too…it’s getting overwhelming.  They check in so many books a day that I can’t keep up with the shelving.  I’d be able to do it if I didn’t have to spend an hour in reading block every day.  I don’t think having library helpers this year will even be necessary because we only do checkout for about 15 minutes in the morning.  So anyway, enough random ranting…I’m going to read my book.  I’ll write more later!!!

Oh yeah, I’m super excited because my mom and I are going wedding dress shopping this weekend!!! Yay!!!  I can’t wait!

So, I’m starting a new diet.  And yes, I’m sure there are people who are sighing right now and going “Sure you are.”  But you know what, I’ve got to step beyond those people and do this for myself.  At this point in my life, it’s not about being thin anymore, it’s about being healthy.  It’s about being at a BMI where I’m not considered obese.  It’s about living more than 10 years in the future.  It’s about being able to be healthy when Ryan and I have children, and that is SO important.  So, I’ve done the drastic measure that I previously had decided not to do.  About three years ago I lost 86 lbs.  doing a liquid diet called Optifast.  I did SO well on it, and I dropped the weight fast.  The problem was that I did not go through the maintenance phase of the diet where you are taught to re-introduce foods to your diet that are healthy, eat portions, etc.  It is like weight watchers at that point.  Well instead I pretty much just went back to my old ways of eating and put the weight back on consistently over the next three years.  Well, I have tried everything in the last six months-I’ve teetered up and down on different diets, as you very well know from this blog.  I’ve done Suddenly Slim, Fat Smash Diet, and most recently, Weight Watchers.  I’ve even done a little Nutrisystem.  The only thing I’m NOT going to do is have bariatric surgery.  But something needed to be done.  So last weekend I was laying in bed and Ryan was sleeping and all of a sudden I had an overwhelming sense of urgency to get back on the liquid diet.  I want to get the FOOD out of the equation for a while and just focus on self control.  So I got up, talked to Ryan about it, and of course he was 100% in agreement, as he always is with anything I want to do that is healthy.  I called Optifast from work on Monday morning and they told me that I’d have to come to the informational session at 5:30 on Tuesday afternoon.  So I went to that after work, and it was generally the same thing I had heard three years ago, so I decided to go ahead and go for it.  I schedule my two doctors appointments for blood work, EKG tests, metabolic tests, etc. for Thursday at 10:00 and 12:30.  I went home that night and put in my absence.  They do not do appointments after 12:30, so there was no choice in me missing work, which I HATE doing because they make you feel like you’ve done something horrible when you call out at my job.  Anyway, I called out and on Thursday I went to the doctor and got all of it done and got my food.  I am starting it first thing in the morning.  I will be drinking 5 shakes a day and eating 1 bar.  I will do it for at LEAST 12 weeks.  I am sure that at my birthday, Thanksgiving, and probably Christmas, I will eat off the diet.  But I know other than that I will maintain extreme dedication just like I did last time.  This will be difficult for others that I know because social activities so often revolve around eating, but I know for at least the first month, as I did last time, I’m not going to want to go out and do anything with anyone.  It makes you not have a lot of energy, and also it’s hard to be around any temptations.  Last time my dad had a hard time with this part.  He thought I was nuts.  But I had to do this for ME.  So I am excited to be doing this.  I go to group every week on Thursdays, so that night I’ll write again and update on my weight loss for the first 4-5 days.   Wish me luck!